fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A+ Viking dick
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