Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
