oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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