you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Houston, we have a squirter
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
