I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
