If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
