I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize