What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
