Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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