I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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