just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
