Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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