i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
