Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
