Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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