but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just google imaged poop.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize