i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
