she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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