he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
