The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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