Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I love you. Go after that dick
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize