Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
birth control should be required to get into college
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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