Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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