entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
