And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just want to make out with him forever
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
