Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
