so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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