Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
