Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
