i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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