We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
