I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
