It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
