apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
