No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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