You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
