you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
