he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
