i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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