i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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