She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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