didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
