How'd it feel making her break her religion?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
