Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
