He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize