Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize