she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
