i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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