Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we made out on top of his cat.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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