i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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