I look better un-naked...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
