he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is it because I queefed?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
