Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
