He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
