My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
