My friends, they love my intelligence
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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