Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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