too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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