i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
