let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
