Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
