I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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