i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
