yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
