we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
